fantasy

FANTASY is defined as those undisciplined thoughts that you have about sex.  It’s also been referred to as “preoccupation” – you’ve been preoccupied with sexual thoughts and imaginings. Lust is an example of fantasy or preoccupation. Fantasy, or preoccupied thought, is usually an attempt to resolve traumatic pain.  Our fantasies are an attempt to create an ideal world or scenario in which all of our wounds are healed.  Think about it. Fantasies are the way in which we “correct” pain from our past.  It’s pain about who we really are.  Fantasies may correct our sense of who we are.  In our fantasies, we are powerful, successful, and lovable, or so we believe. In our fantasies we get touched, praised, nurtured, and affirmed.

Sexual thoughts lead to RITUALS, which are those things we use to prepare to act out.  Any thought or behavior that you use to get from fantasy to acting out is part of your ritual.  One of the great challenges of healing is to intervene on these “preparations” — the rituals – you have used to escalate from thinking about acting out to actually doing it.  It is one thing to say that you want to stop a particular sin.  It is more complicated to stop your ritual behavior.