Understanding the Cycle of Addiction – Why Do I Act Out?

Understanding the Cycle of Addiction – Why Do I Act Out?

Our "acting out" behaviors indicate that we are ESCAPING negative circumstances or negative feelings. We may feel justified or entitled to these behaviors, or they may be trauma reactions or painful emotions. The actual behavior is often sexual, but it isn’t necessarily limited to sex. Additional “acting out” behaviors can include alcohol, drugs, food, work, exercise, and gaming among others.While understanding the cycle of addiction is important, the ability to experience freedom lies not in controlling the behaviors in the cycle of addiction but, instead, in healing the wounds experienced and correcting the accompanying toxic thoughts. Sobriety is important, but our goal is HEALTHY THINKING, which will lead to more HEALTHY BEHAVIORS.
January 3, 2022
Understanding the Cycle of Addiction – Preoccupation & Fantasy

Understanding the Cycle of Addiction – Preoccupation & Fantasy

FANTASY is defined as those undisciplined thoughts that you have about sex.  It’s also been referred to as “preoccupation” – you’ve been preoccupied with sexual thoughts and imaginings. Lust is an example of fantasy or preoccupation. Fantasy, or preoccupied thought, is usually an attempt to resolve traumatic pain.  Our fantasies are an attempt to create an ideal world or scenario in which all of our wounds are healed.  Think about it. Fantasies are the way in which we “correct” pain from our past.  It’s pain about who we really are.  Fantasies may correct our sense of who we are.  In our fantasies, we are powerful, successful, and lovable, or so we believe. In our fantasies we get touched, praised, nurtured, and affirmed.
January 2, 2022
Image highlighting the ritual phase in the cycle of addiction

Understanding the Cycle of Addiction – Ritual

Sexual thoughts lead to RITUALS, which are those things we use to prepare to act out.  Any thought or behavior that you use to get from fantasy to acting out is part of your ritual.  One of the great challenges of healing is to intervene on these “preparations” — the rituals – you have used to escalate from thinking about acting out to actually doing it.  It is one thing to say that you want to stop a particular sin.  It is more complicated to stop your ritual behavior.
January 1, 2022